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you know those scenes in movies and tv where teenagers scream GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WERENT MY MOM BECAUSE I HATE YOU!
I never did that. I snap passive aggressively instead. I’ve always felt obligated to suppress any negative sentiments toward her, because looking at my mother’s emotional reactions, if I say negative things about her she gets sad and angry. which is understandable. but it’s hard for a child knowing that getting angry or being unsatisfied with the way their parent is acting is something they have to Deal With Maturely or they’re being Mean. it’s just. I think it’s hard. I think ts hard and I don’t think it’s fair. I dont think I don’t think it’s fair that I’ve been shaped to respond the way I do, with silent tears and hiding in the garage and breaking down in a public place because that’s psychologically safer than doing it at home. I don’t think it’s fair. I don’t think it’s fair.
anyway thats why I’m crying violently and silently under the covers right now
you know those scenes in movies and tv where teenagers scream GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU WERENT MY MOM BECAUSE I HATE YOU!
I never did that. I snap passive aggressively instead. I’ve always felt obligated to suppress any negative sentiments toward her, because looking at my mother’s emotional reactions, if I say negative things about her she gets sad and angry. which is understandable. but it’s hard for a child knowing that getting angry or being unsatisfied with the way their parent is acting is something they have to Deal With Maturely or they’re being Mean. it’s just. I think it’s hard. I think ts hard and I don’t think it’s fair. I dont think I don’t think it’s fair that I’ve been shaped to respond the way I do, with silent tears and hiding in the garage and breaking down in a public place because that’s psychologically safer than doing it at home. I don’t think it’s fair. I don’t think it’s fair.
anyway thats why I’m crying violently and silently under the covers right now
