kelpforestdweller: here’s a useful expression:

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kelpforestdweller:

here’s a useful expression: “i don’t have a preference but i’d be happy to choose.”

sounds a little odd or maybe contradictory? but i spend a lot of time around people who, for various reasons, often run up against choice paralysis, that agonizing state where making a decision seems impossible.

so i use this sentence to clarify a few things.

1. are you just being polite and offering me the chance to choose first? if so, i have given you the go ahead to decide for us

2. are you having difficulty deciding? if so, i have made it clear that even though im not invested in any particular option, i am willing and able to make the decision for us.

thought i’d share it since i find it helpful.

I have two WILDLY inflammatory opinions right now

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I have two WILDLY inflammatory opinions right now

sharing as requested (1/2)

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nonserious opinion [potential CW for blasphemy if you’re into monotheism! idk what bothers people!]:

ALL MONOTHEISM IS POLYTHEISM, YOU GUYS ARE JUST HENOTHEISTS. explanation: belief in a single deity, for which there is no more evidence than for the existence of any other, opens the possibility that any and all of those other deities also exist. even if a so called monotheist only worships one deity, it’s intellectually dishonest to deny the existence of others.

this isn’t a serious opnion because… I don’t think it’s meaningful or true. first of all, even in this belief, there are at least two possible forms of monotheism: “all deities are one deity, the one I worship” and “strict atheism in a monotheistic religious tradition”. second, this is a ridiculous gotcha argument that ignores the fact that people absolutely do believe that one deity exists but not others, all the time, whether it’s sensible according to this logic or not.

(2/2)

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serious opinion, not a condemnation of anyone but just an observation based on some of my own experiences: a number of people who ID as lesbian on tumblr dot com do so for the very valid reasons of

1) they ID and/or align with womanhood and are attracted to women and woman-aligned people,

2) they’re deeply invested in lesbian history and communities

3) they find comfort in labels and communities of and for nonbinary and gender nonconforming lesbians.

they are also attracted to men.

I think it’s completely valid to say “I’m bisexual in terms of attraction but that’s a footnote to the fact that I’m only into dating women/woman-type people as same. I’m deeply invested in lesbian communities and history and I don’t think my attraction to men really matters in terms of that.” and I think that banning anyone who admits any sincere attraction to men from the butch/femme lesbian history clubhouse mostly functions to make people who desperately want to relate to lesbian communities scared of admitting that when they talk about how much they want to fuck video game men they kind of… kind of mean it.

I think bisexually-attracted women and woman-aligned people are at kind of a disadvantage in Community spaces in terms of… not having a lot of history that’s explicitly bi WLW history (that isn’t subsumed into [exclusively] lesbian history) and likewise with terminology and theory and stuff.

I think this could be solved if people would either just 1) be a lot more vocal about bisexuality for a while until that’s firmly established as an equal community on its own terms and serves all the same desires equally well or 2) be ok with political lesbianism from bi women, but of course nobody in human history ever has or ever will “just” and “people” certainly won’t.