(no subject)

on April 19th I went to the beach with my friends. it was great. my friebd gave me a yugioh shirt from a thrift shop. we listened to my chemical romance on the drive to the beach. we made meme sounds at each other. I went in the water and let myself get battered around by the waves. I swam a bit, which is so much more fun when you're wearing goggles like I was. we ate packaged food and talked memes. I looked very jock in the anime beach episode. we recreated the sand guardian vine. I got buried, which was super fun. I loved the stimulus of heavy sand on a large part of my body. I had my friend who was wearing all black and reading about sitcoms beneath a parasol feed me pretzel sticks because hands were sandy. it was just really great. 

on april 28th I went to see my therapist counselor person. do you ever not realize how much something bothers you until you really, really do? It turns out that people saying the fake thing about me being good at math /really/ makes me feel mad and bad and sad. and stupid and fake and lazy and like a failure. talking about it with said figure, I cried effusively. it was cathartic. I felt better afterwards.