(no subject)

my period is coming up again and I'm having weird bad feelings about pointlessness and impermanence. reminds me of this http://hailmaryfulloftunes55675.tumblr.com/post/115060131739/prozdvoices-i-saw-this-and-i-wanted-to-hear-it#notes

I feel a lot better when I'm around people. like, right now I just moved one room over to sitting with my dad's girlfriend while she watched a baseball game instead of alone in my room and. before I was /shivering/ and now I'm calming. I feel so much better.

when I was in conventional high school and I was having a bad anxiety moment I used to ask if I could hold people's hands. like, friends of mine in the classroom. it helped me keep it together. 

im glad I have scheduled counseling appointments now.