getting a previously non-explicitly-confirmed ship confirmed feels really good because you can look.

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getting a previously non-explicitly-confirmed ship confirmed feels really good because you can look back at all the hints and moments and instead of that feeling of “this is nice but straight people will deny it” there’s just “they are gay and they love each other”

tbh my mom fucked up by basically not taking heed of the fact that I have non-mood-disorder brain...

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tbh my mom fucked up by basically not taking heed of the fact that I have non-mood-disorder brain problems for like ten, thirteen years but I feel like the extent to which I detached from her emotionally was kind of disproportionate to that. like she yells and I hate it, and she really should have done something at any point about my social delays and executive dysfunction, and attentional issues other than respectively nothing, threatening to throw away or confiscate my stuff, and really nothing again, but like it’s weird that I responded to that with half a decade of radio silence on my romantic relationships. or is it? idk. in a way, that was a way to exert control. hold a part of my life totally separate from her criticism. idk. I also withdrew physically which I would attribute both to her disrespect for physical boundaries (getting bad associations with requests/demands for physical contact) and also getting kind of fucked up by fanfic. I was having lunch with a friend of mine and he was talking a bit about his mom and his therapist and not to be a total (((stereotype))) but like it might be a good idea for me as well to see a professional. I used to talk about my mom a lot in therapy while I was in therapy and there was a reason for that which was that she was a chronic stressor in my life. it’s not as bad now (more down to petty complaints about her personal habits) but. whatever I’m bored of this post.

I spent like an hour listening to chapo trap house with

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I spent like an hour listening to chapo trap house with my sister’s straight fiancé while in line for the forbidden world of Harry Potter at universal studios on Sunday and now I’m listening to it myself which maaaaaaaay be how masculinity works?

hailmaryfullofgrace55675:I spent like an hour listening

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hailmaryfullofgrace55675:

I spent like an hour listening to chapo trap house with my sister’s straight fiancé while in line for the forbidden world of Harry Potter at universal studios on Sunday and now I’m listening to it myself which maaaaaaaay be how masculinity works?

he’s nice to hang out with because we have a lot in common to chat about and he’s a nice person who’s calm and easy to talk to but also I’m just like. associating with men?? associating with men?? not to be trans but I have spent the page majority of my life with women and the large majority of my friends are nonbinary and being around men is like Oh I Want To Be Like You. also I really had like no male role models as a kid? I mean my sister has been dating this guy for like seven years, I have known him since I was a kid, my father was around as were various uncles, but like… only men who treated me as a girl/women. it’s really nice being around a man who treats me as a not-woman. true cis ally. my sister is fairly good about acknowledging that I’m nonbinary but she will make comments about like, “Ugh, masculinity” around me that feel like… lol you know I’m not a queer femme right. and she’s just, not like me, genderwise. this gender conforming cishet guy isn’t either but he’s a lot more like me than she is. my mom is okay about it. my grandma will often remember to loudly correct herself to they instead of she while she is speaking directly in front of me. I don’t think my dad like, knows, despite me coming out to him. a bunch of my cousins just like, don’t know at all, guess they’ll find out the first time I show up at a family event with a beard. for the ones who do know, one is pretty good and also queer. another is okayish but not good with pronouns. we did some woodworking together the other day, that was fun and gender affirming. his wife is really good though, she’ll even correct other people. she’s also super sweet generally, I love her. well. I’m going to become unignorable soon.