Jul. 12th, 2018

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cook

bake

understand gender theory

speak publicly

write

crochet

make small talk

call institutions like schools and hospitals to get information and set up appointments

dress myself in ways I like

learn and grow in the future!
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finally really sinking in that I am actually genuinely going to be going to the university of my choice come fall. I failed a class last semester and I was not really worried that the admission would get rescinded bc it was non-major non-requirement and didn’t impact my GPA but until looking at the “admit decision stands” notice it was still like, there in my brain, “what if”. but like. it is going to happen!

the last year (and especially the last six months) has been sooooo full of changes for me. doing presentations, getting admitted to the school I want to go to, working, learning new sewing skills, starting going to temple, figuring out a bunch of brains stuff. i feel like I’ve grown so much! I’ve learned a ton and I have so many new tools for doing stuff that I want to do. there’s lots of stuff I want to learn in the future, and I feel optimistic about my chances to do so.
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adulthood is when you stop thinking you have to actually explain homestuck to tell someone what Homestuck is and just say it’s “a multimedia web comic. you know jumanji? there’s these kids who play a videogame and it turns out the world is ending because of the videogame, and then there are some more alien kids who played the game and created the world. it was really popular for a while and has some gay characters.” that is the entire plot of Homestuck and the absolute maximum Homestuck explanation required by someone who did not specifically ask about the characters.
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hailmaryfullofgrace55675:

adulthood is when you stop thinking you have to actually explain homestuck to tell someone what Homestuck is and just say it’s “a multimedia web comic. you know jumanji? there’s these kids who play a videogame and it turns out the world is ending because of the videogame, and then there are some more alien kids who played the game and created the world. it was really popular for a while and has some gay characters.” that is the entire plot of Homestuck and the absolute maximum Homestuck explanation required by someone who did not specifically ask about the characters.

as an expansion of this, an important part of developing social skills and functioning as an adult is learning how to most effectively communicate with people who may have different interests and knowledge, and how to respond most appropriately in social contexts that aren’t structured around your exact interests. this isn’t to say that maturity means never going in depth on stuff or sharing your passions, just figuring out better when and how it’s appropriate to do so, and developing the communication skills to do it even better. or that you’re not an adult unless you develop these communication skills - you’re an adult if you’re an adult, regardless of the skills you may or may not have. these skills are really, really useful though, especially as you exit high school and your IRL social interactions change from being primarily with family members and same age schoolmates to being more with random strangers in public and people in perhaps work or postsecondary educational contexts (as happens to many people around the time they become adults)

also, of course, many people are going to have had childhoods/youths different from mine where they had to learn completely different or even opposite skills (e.g. having had these communication skills taught very young, but not having the space to speak or engage with their own interests until adulthood, and having to actively learn that the way I had to actively learn brevity and engagement with the interests of others) and this isn’t to discount those experiences. while not universal, I think my experience learning communication skills applies in broad strokes to a lot of people.
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nettlepatchwork:

As of June 26th, 2018, the American Library Association guidelines now explicitly permit hate groups to organize in public libraries:

“A publicly funded library is not obligated to provide meeting room space to the public, but if it chooses to do so, it cannot discriminate or deny access based upon the viewpoint of speakers or the content of their speech. This encompasses religious, political, and hate speech. If a library allows charities, non-profits, and sports organizations to discuss their activities in library meeting rooms, then the library cannot exclude religious, social, civic, partisan political, or hate groups from discussing their activities in the same facilities.” (Meeting Rooms: An Interpretation of the Library Bill of Rights)

The basis for this policy is a misguided understanding of the effects of hate speech on marginalized people:

“Symbols of hate are also constitutionally protected if worn or displayed in a public place. Libraries should comply with the ideals and legal requirements of the First Amendment. We make room for offensive, bigoted, and biased speech in the libraries if that speech is simply that: just speech. Hate speech stops being just speech and becomes conduct when it targets a particular individual and includes behavior that interferes with a patron’s ability to use the library.” (Hate Speech and Hate Crime)

In other words, ALA policymakers do not believe that hate speech interferes with any patron’s ability to use the library. ALA leaders don’t see a contradiction between allowing fascist organizing in the library and the commitment to “advocate conditions of employment that safeguard the rights and welfare of all employees of our institutions” (ALA Code of Ethics).

86% of librarians are white, and while most are female, men are over-represented in directorship roles. Entry into the profession as a full librarian (versus an assistant) requires at least one master’s degree, which can cost upwards of $40,000. (Most states do not offer library science programs at any of their public universities.) Funding to attend national conferences and policy-making discussions is often not provided to librarians, and rarely to library assistants. Custodial staff, who are vital to every library and also disproportionately people of color, are not a target audience for ALA membership and are not addressed in ALA conference programming. Like other ALA conferences, the conference that took place this June was inaccessible to many library employees, including those with disabilities, children, or financial constraints.

The decision to allow white supremacist organizing in libraries was almost certainly made by a room full of highly educated, financially privileged white people. The library profession is hiding behind its commitment to “intellectual freedom” to avoid confronting the reality of fascist organizing in our local communities. White library leaders are content to host White Pride Night in their meeting rooms (note that library leaders tend to go home at 5pm, whereas lower-ranked staff work night shifts) without regard for the safety of non-white patrons and staff.

It is our responsibility as human beings to stand up against fascism and white supremacy. If “professionalism” gets in the way of ethical duty, we must challenge the norms of our professions. While intellectual freedom is valuable and worth defending, shrinking away from ethical duty is not acceptable, nor does it promote a free and open society. All of us in the library profession - particularly those of us with power - have a responsibility to acknowledge the real harm that results from allowing hate speech and organizing in the library. There is no magical world where white supremacist fascists can co-exist with the people of color, immigrants, disabled people, and queer people that libraries claim to serve.
We need to draw lines around unacceptable behavior in our institutions. We have a responsibility to use our free speech to collectively organize against hate. We cannot wait until “mere” hate speech turns into hate crime, and we cannot evade responsibility for any crimes committed as a result of our complacency.

Please spread the word. Talk to your friends who work in libraries. Tell your public librarian that white supremacy in the library will not be tolerated. Even so-called “progressive” librarians are reluctant to call out this policy. Do not let it go unchallenged.
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enoughtohold:

[T]here are two questions I am always asked by lesbians who look down on AIDS work, and by lesbians and gay men working in other progressive movements. One is: “Would gay men have done the same thing for lesbians if the situation had been reversed?” The first thing I say is, “I am not in this movement for gay men; I am in this movement for myself.” And then I ask them: “What have straight women and straight men done for us? What have the antinuclear and anti-intervention movements done for us?” I’m not saying that people shouldn’t work in these movements. I am saying, “Check out the homophobia in your question.” The second question I am asked is: “If a cure for AIDS happened tomorrow, wouldn’t all those gay men go home and not care about access issues?” “Probably a lot would,” I answer, “just like all the women who went home after Roe v. Wade and only came out again when Roe was threatened.” The fact is that poor women — and because of institutional racism in this country, Black and Latin women are disproportionately among the poor — and young women and rural women have not had access to abortion for many, many years. Where were these women in 1977 when the Hyde Amendment, cutting off federal Medicaid funding for abortion, was passed? Gay men, as a group, are no better and no worse than anyone else. We have to get past this mentality.

— Maxine Wolfe, “AIDS and Politics: Transformation of Our Movement,” in Women, AIDS, and Activism (1990), by the ACT UP/New York Women and AIDS Book Group.
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depressedbatman:

hailmaryfullofgrace55675:

depressedbatman:

you ever think about gay love?

I’m

i was thinking of you when i typed this post. this comment was everything i’d hoped for, thank you

You Are My Absolutely Dear And Treasured Friend
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recently I’ve overextended myself pretty badly at times but overall nothing terrible has happened and I feel like I’ve grown a ton as a person and in useful capacities. like… I’ve gotten into situations I was not comfortable in or even couldn’t meet the expectations of. but things have turned out fine and many of those situations I have adjusted to and expanded my skills through.

tbh it kinda reminds me of high school, specifically how in early high school (like, as a specific goal of mine as I was starting 9th grade) i was like. wow. I need to develop social skills. I even wrote down as a specific goal on a worksheet in an AVID class I was in that was something to the effect of “get [some number of] LiveJournal messages per month”, like, as a measure of putting myself out there and talking to people. I didn’t end up doing that, but I did start approaching people IRL and I took a pretty big leap from like, being really shy and having like, a different person or few people who i fell into friendships with every year or two and not having any idea of how to engage with strangers or even acquaintances at all to like. walking up to people and talking with them.

I used the Homestuck meetup community as a sort of newbie training village for talking to strangers and like in retrospect there were ways that community was pretty fucked but it helped me a lot and I can’t think of any community that could’ve been more helpful. having a common interest based community full of open and friendly and mostly LGBT people, who were forgiving and accepting of weirdness and awkwardness, who met up a bunch IRL, was profoundly transformative.

and like. at first I had a lot of awkward conversations and got into arguments at school and came off as weird to a lot of people, and I had friendships that didn’t end up panning out for various reasons or in retrospect weren’t the kind of friendship I prefer to have now, and I said and did weird and unpleasant shit and struggled to understand what exact skills I needed or how to apply them, and I’ve moved on from that community and prefer the ones I have now for various reasons (including “having better thought out sexual ethics” and “using substances in more controlled, more social ways” and “not ditching me whenever I turn my back when we’re hanging out IRL”) but over a couple of years I advanced my social skills by absolute leaps and bounds! the stuff that was so foreign and such a struggle to me at first gradually became relatively easy and second nature.

I feel like temple and working customer service are really pushing me to develop my social skills right now and I think I’ve gotten a lot better at coming off as natural and friendly, and being neutrally chatty and fun. they both make me use and control my voice a lot more, and talk with people who I wouldn’t normally choose to talk with. and that’s something I’m getting a lot more comfortable with, which is great!

i think in some ways, everyone is still developing their social skills, well, through their whole lives, but especially in their early twenties, and in that way I’m just like every other 20 year old on earth, but in some ways I think my social development has always been kind of slow/delayed compared to many of my peers and, well, artificial sounds weird and incorrect, but something that doesn’t just happen naturally or by default and that I have to think about and train myself through. I’m proud of myself and my social skills. I’ve worked pretty hard on them, I think!

more than just socially, though, I think I’ve really got an expanded capacity for busyness. like I was soooo busy for a while and now I’ve got a regular schedule where I go to school for a minimum of three hours every weekday (more with lab hours and tutoring) and am at work for like four to six hours four days a week (including Sat/Sun, so I don’t have any days off unless holidays or cancelled classes fall Tuesday-Thursday) and I go to temple on Fridays (I suppose Mondays too, now that I’ve fallen into choir) and I feel great! I feel like I’m totally managing! I feel generally relaxed and well! I feel like I have free time that I can choose what to do with!

overall this post is to say that I’ve gone through some growing pains lately and I’ve grown! and I’m really proud of and happy with that growth and progress.
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I got buffed in the latest update… patch notes: the character Noah now has the new ability “organize classmates”
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I have an obsessive thoughts coping mechanism that involves religiously based formula and whenever I mention it to someone I’m like, NOT THAT I’M SAYING THIS AS A SUGGESTION. real hot tip from nick “hailmaryfullofgrace55675”! struggling with mental illness? have you tried prayer?
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hailmaryfullofgrace55675:

ate a silkworm earlier. neither bad nor super to my taste

re: vegetarianism, I have a terrestrial arthropods exception. (note: I do not at current include crabs that are terrestrial only as adults in this exception)
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some-triangles:

There are three major types of spiritual practice: first, reaching the spirit by rewarding the body, through ritual feasting, drug-taking and sex; second, reaching the spirit by denying the body, through fasting, cleansing and purification; and third, by abandoning the physical entirely and attempting to reach the numinous entirely via the life of the mind.   In this essay, entitled “Bed, Bath and Beyond”, I will

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nick, hailmaryfullofgrace55675

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