sixth-light: aethersea: aprilwitching: i think especially with relatively near future sci-fi and...

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sixth-light:

aethersea:

aprilwitching:

i think especially with relatively near future sci-fi and alternate present/just off reality sci-fi and fantasy, it’s a lot more effective to play off of “this word is the same, but the thing it refers to is in fact different than what you’ll initially picture or assume” than to invent a bunch of cutesy fake slang (again, ESPECIALLY for things we already have good words for)

like, for a real life example of what im talking about– we had “phones” in 1977, and we still have “phones” in 2017, but MAN would a time traveler from the 70s be confused by the things we call “phones” now, and the ways we use and relate to them– “im typing this text post on my phone, and autocorrect keeps cramping my style” is a straightforward and easily understandable sentence to me in 2017. it would sound like word salad to someone from 1977. (how can you TYPE something on a PHONE?? what does “post” mean in this context, or “text”? the fuck is “autocorrect”??)

but we still call them “phones”, you know, and not, idk, “cyberrectangles”

interplanetary shuttle system makes use of automated, pre-scheduled wormholes to get you to your day job on mars every morning – still called taking the bus.

super high-tech window protectors that keep out the deadly light of the ultra-bright sun? “close the curtains, tom, it’s almost dawn.”

your zero-g space station’s air filtration system is malfunctioning, threatening to cause a fiery explosion as all the waste co2 builds up in the engine room rather than the greenhouse? time to call the plumber.

Two phones. 

outsidewolves: Somebody Told Me

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outsidewolves:

Somebody Told Me

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you are now all trapped in my vast puzzle dungeon. good luck.

Can I get a hint

HINT MOUSE SAYS: *in a little squeaky voice* collect the silver rod from fabio’s grotto and bring it to the bridge of malice. be sure to talk to “knight doogle” on the way.*hint mouse scurries away into a nearby hole*

i go to fabios grotto

*you hear the sound of distant strained moaning, followed by the creaking of something getting up from an old wooden chair. something is approaching you.*

FABIO: welcome to my grotto.

I say hello to Fabio, and ask them if they have a Silver rod?

FABIO: silver rod? oh….

*fabio dissappears into his grotto and rummages around in his back room. he is gone for quite some time and hasn’t offered you anything to eat or drink, so you just stand around in his home feeling really awkward. what if he lives with relatives and they come out and say something to you?*

FABIO: sorry that took so long. here’s my silver rod. now that i remember i have it at all, it’s my most treasured posession. you’ll have to offer me something for it

i offer to knit fabio a nice hat, for when the grotto gets drafty in the wintertime.

FABIO: what a wonderful hat. thank you.

I thank Fabio for his help, and leave the Grotto to head for the Bridge of Malice.

*fabio snatches the silver rod back from you and hits you across the room with it like a baseball bat*

FABIO: help??? what help? we never reached a deal. i was simply thanking you for such a lovely hat. i demand more.

i give fabio two shoes made for dancing.

*fabio slips his new dancing shoes on. his socks are a bit wet so it makes a funny fart noise*

FABIO: wonderful boots! *fabio does an embarrassing dance move with all the coordination of a dead windmill but he’s having fun so you’re encouraging towards him*FABIO: but…it’s still not enough for me to part with my beloved rod…

I give Fabio a big pair of glasses for his big beautiful eyes. 

FABIO: my magnificent glistening eyes have been magnified by these lovely glasses! i can see my treasured silver rod better than ever now and it’s even more beautiful than i thought. it’ll take something really special for me to part with this..

I go ask Doogle for help

*fabio cackles and waves as you excuse yourself from his grotto, which was easier than expected because fabio seems more interested in the gifts he has recieved than your company at the moment, and head back towards the guard tower you actually passed on your way but didn’t notice until now*

*as you approach the tower, a metal face peeks around the corner*

KNIGHT DOOGLE: huh? what? who goes there? i left my spear in the tower but if you’re up to no good i will really go back and get it. i’m really tough.

I remove Doogle’s helmet.

*you catch doogle off guard the moment he nervously breaks eye contact with you and lift off his helmet*

KNIGHT DOOGLE: ah! my helmet! i needed that to protect my head from attacks! why did you do that?

*doogle paces around a small radius of a few feet looking very worried*

knight doogle you are beautiful

KNIGHT DOOGLE: huh? oh, thank you, that’s very sweet. but you didn’t have to just take off my helmet like that, you could have asked first. i feel so embarrased now.*doogle shuffles back to his tower like a sad sneaking tree, and then returns, armed with a spear*

KNIGHT DOOGLE: sorry, i hope this isn’t threatening to you. i have lost all my confidence so i’m just holding this as a comfort item.

Wanna help us Get Fabio’s Silver Rod?

KNIGHT DOOGLE: fabio’s silver rod? he’ll forget about it in a week or two, he always forms fleeting attachments to things. but if you need it sooner rather than later, there’s one thing he has always desired above anything else…all i can tell you about it is that it’s small, yellow, and quite helpful.

we call hint mouse for help

*from a nearby hole, you and doogle both watch a creature, that’s small, yellow, and helpful scamper towards you. it’s the ever so helpful HINT MOUSE!!!*

*a round of applause and cheering is heard*

HINT MOUSE: *in a little squeaky voice* ahem ahem…it is me, a mouse am i!i only tell truths and i never lie!reliable, helpful, and handsome to boot!for all of your labour, i am the fruit!

*hint mouse looks around, hoping you’re all impressed by his new rhyming speech thing he’s trying out. rhyming is hard for mice because poetry is frowned upon in mouse culture*

I clap politely in appreciation of his speech and ask him if he would like to come visit Fabio with us

HINT MOUSE: thank you, i really appreciate the support. i will happily come and visit fabio with you…oh, sorry, hang on.

*hint mouse clears his throat*

HINT MOUSE: i’m always here for you, that’s my motto.so i shall accompany you to fabio’s grotto!you’ve supported me in all my life choicesyou’re a lifelong friend to all little…moices!

*he messed up a little at the end, but he did really well, all things considering. you, doogle, and hint mouse arrive again at fabio’s grotto, however the door is closed, though not locked.*

i knock politely and ask if Fabio is home

*your knock on the door echos throughout the surrounding area, and you can hear a familiar voice call to you from inside*

FABIO: come on in…so long as you’re not a greedy thief…yee hee hee…

I smile warmly at hint mouse, look knowingly at knight doogle, and gently push open the door

*the door opens, but it required quite a shove, as it feels like something is in the way. as you step into his grotto, hundreds of items are strewn across the floor.

FABIO: oh….welcome back…!since you’ve been gone, people have been laying items at my feet, all to get my beloved silver rod! it must be truly valuable..or truly blessed! as long as i have it, i’ll become the richest man in the caves! gah hah hah!

I turn to hint mouse and ask him to recite Fabio a poem that’ll blow his socks (and newly acquired shoes) off

*hint mouse looks back at you and nods, then leaps from your hand, hopping lightly from object to object across the room. fabio is so engorged on avarice that he’s already forgotten that you entered the room at all.*

HINT MOUSE: *gets fabios attention by briefly playing on a tiny flute*

the room is silent. hint mouse owns the stage now.

HINT MOUSE: ahem ahem!you’ve gathered yourself quite a collection!but now youve…oh…uhh…ah!! (why did i end a verse with “collection”?? this is awful…what should i do?)

I whisper ‘correction…dejection…direction…. affection’ to HINT MOUSE out of the corner of my mouth, with the realization that his hint-giving generosity has taught me how to give hints to others myself

*hint mouse is re-energized with the inspiration he needs to finish his poem*

HINT MOUSE:you’ve assembled yourself quite a collection!but i have arrived to give you affection.your riches are piled right up to the cielingbut deep down i know you suffer with a feeling. (feels awkward but…i can keep going! everyone believes in me!)you’re cooped up in here and you’re all alonejust yourself, a rod, and an old wooden throneit doesn’t have to be that way, you don’t have to be bleaklet me introduce myself, i’m hint mouse, squeak squeak!in exchange for the rod, i’ll be your best frienda little yellow creature who you can always depend!*applause is heard yet again, the crowd is going hog wild.*

*fabio takes a gentle tumble down his tower of riches and cradles hint mouse in his arms*

FABIO:
hint mouse…that was beautiful. you’d do all that just to help an old
man? you’re truly the best treasure i could ever ask for, i’ll cherish
our friendship forever…

FABIO: thank you so much all of you. i have no need for material goods anymore. the silver rod is yours to take!

*you obtained the silver rod at last!*

i bring the silver rod to the bridge of malice

*you and doogle leave fabio’s grotto, silver rod in tow. fabio and hint mouse wave goodbye to and live the rest of their lives in peace.*

*as you walk towards malice bridge, doogle turns to you.*

KNIGHT DOOGLE: sorry i didn’t say or do much back there…what happened was really beautiful though.

*knight doogle stops and thinks for a second, his ears and hair sway in the breeze and it looks so cool*

KNIGHT DOOGLE: i’ve spent my whole adult life just guarding my tower selfishly, but people like hint mouse do so much to help others. once this is over i’m going to change my lifestyle, i’ll give up the knight life.

*you enjoy the rest of your walk with doogle, and eventually arrive at malice bridge, which despite the name, is actually pretty ordinary. at the other end of the bridge, light from the surface trickles down, the way out.*

*suddenly, the air around you grows cold, a shiver travels up your spine, and a giant shimmering monster appears out of nowhere*

SILVER GUARDIAN: YOUR JOURNEY IS ALMOST OVER, TRAVELLERS! I AM THE MASTER OF MALICE BRIDGE! HAVE YOU SEEN MY MISSING FINGER ANYWHERE?

present the silver rod (or finger, i guess?) to the silver guardian! ask he how lost it, too, if it proves to be his

*the silver guardian rattles and shakes with glee*

SILVER GUARDIAN: MY FINGER! MY PRECIOUS DIGIT! OH…I LOST IT BECAUSE I WAS POKING AROUND IN MOUSE HOLES LOOKING FOR HINT MOUSE, BUT A LESS HELPFUL MOUSE STOLE IT…

*the silver guardian reattaches its finger, which is gross, so you look away while it does that*

SILVER GUARDIAN: NOW HUMAN….ARE YOU READY TO LEARN THE TRUE PURPOSE OF THE SILVER ROD?

*you tremble as the silver guardian does some really confusing poses with its hand, not entirely sure where it’s going with this.*

SILVER GUARDIAN: HEH HEH HEH….TO CROSS THE BRIDGE YOU GO IN THIS DIRECTION!!!!

*as you cross the bridge to the outside world, the rocky walls of the dungeon give way to fields and forests.at the middle of the bridge, you turn back, and all of your friends are there, and now they are all friends with each other all thanks to you.*

HINT MOUSE: go ahead and be free! meeting you has filled me with glee!FABIO: you have people waiting for you out there, go and be with them!DOOGLE: i’ll never forget our adventure, you can keep my helmet to remember me!SILVER GUARDIAN: I DIDN’T REALLY GET TO KNOW YOU THAT WELL TO BE HONEST BUT YOU SEEM COOL. THANK YOU FOR FINDING MY FINGER!*you turn around for the last time, and step outside*THE END

theonion: WASHINGTON—In response to a decline in

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theonion:

WASHINGTON—In response to a decline in revenue from routes running between the two disparate planes of existence, Amtrak announced Friday that it plans to cancel the mysterious, mist-enshrouded trains offering late-night service into the darkest realms of the spirit.

The trains, which according to Amtrak timetables leave once daily at the stroke of midnight, their headlamps cutting through thick tendrils of billowing fog as they travel nonstop to points along their accursed route, will cease all operations September 1 as part of an effort to better allocate resources.

“The cost-cutting measures we’ve introduced today include the termination of service to all stops between Amtrak terminals and the domain of shadows that drives men to complete and utter madness,” CEO Charles Moorman told reporters during a press conference. “The fuel required for these long journeys to ominous and inexplicable destinations within the spirit realm greatly increases our operating costs, as does the need to staff each car with the ghosts of our passenger’s deceased relatives.”

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grimbrother: setheverman: i love this so much this the got...

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grimbrother:

setheverman:

i love this so much

this the got damn crunchiest bass line ever and i will always reblog this video when i come across it.

athousandrasps:Heartseeker Gauntlets by Screaming North...

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athousandrasps:

Heartseeker Gauntlets by Screaming North Leatherwork

Ey has a word for it

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By Judie Black
   AS WOMEN HAVE grown freer, the English language has grown more tangled: What’s a chairperson and who is a Ms.? But help may be on the way in the form of ey, eir, and em.
   Those are the winning entries in the Chicago Association of Business Communicators’ contest to find pronouns to replace she and he [ey], him and her [em],  his and hers [eir]. 
   "It,“ a neuter pronoun, already exists, but contest winner Christine M. Elverson of Skokie says her words are "transgender pronouns.” She formed them by dropping “the” from the familiar plural pronouns, they, them, and their.
   FOR EXAMPLE, a speaker might use these new transgender pronouns when ey addresses an audience of both men and women. Eir sentences would sound smoother since ey wouldn’t clutter them with the old sexist pronouns. And if ey should trip up in the new usage, ey would have only emself to blame.
   "There’s a definite need for transgender pronouns,“ says Mrs. Elverson, editor of the employe newsletter of the G. D. Searle Co.
   "It gets cumbersome when you don’t know whether you’re talking or writing about a man or a woman.”
   A contestant from California entered the word “uh” because “if it isn’t a he or a she, it’s uh, something else.”
   So much of eir humor. 

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i use slightly odd/modified/mixed Spivak/Elverson pronouns because i useey / em / eir / eirs /...

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i use slightly odd/modified/mixed Spivak/Elverson pronouns because i use

ey / em / eir / eirs / emself

usually emself is attributed to LambdaMOO’s Spivak pronouns guide, and ey is usually attributed to Elverson (Spivak uses e, as in “e and she are partners”)

well, i use what i like, and that’s that.

@ethne nonbinary actor asia kate dillon follows the nancy podcast, kathy tu, and tobin low on...

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@ethne nonbinary actor asia kate dillon follows the nancy podcast, kathy tu, and tobin low on twitter. 

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genderhawk replied to your post “i use slightly

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genderhawk replied to your post “i use slightly odd/modified/mixed Spivak/Elverson pronouns because i…”

I love you too!!!

minusmanhattan: This is what sand looks like when

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minusmanhattan:

This is what sand looks like when it’s super magnified. Photo by Yanping Wang.

weaponized femininity aesthetics for popular canonically female villains are exhausting to me....

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weaponized femininity aesthetics for popular canonically female villains are exhausting to me. christ, let a woman escape from the femininity prison for 25 fucking seconds. weaponized femininity was a mistake. for canonically male villains, heightened femininity hcs are stuff are just like… haha… you remember the whole “sinister effeminate villain” thing right, you remember that was bad, right?

its not wrong to draw characters as feminine i just get weird bad vibes off a lot of posts about like. catwoman’s nails. hey remember respectful portrayals of gender issues? me neither lol